Hey Glories! I hope this blog post finds you well, if not, honey let's get well. It's been a minute since we talked and if I'm being honest, I haven't had much to say. 2022 was...hard. Feeling as though over a year and half's worth of mess, emotions, and feelings came tumbling in. And as for me? I had to wade through it, being in that deep end that I talked about at the beginning of last year. Then came letting go or "letting the ship sink". Having to let go of certain expectations I placed on others and myself because I realized that it wasn't doing anyone any good. Discover, heal, cry, fuss, maybe even cuss, and repeat. That within all the good, bad, happy, and sad, I'm just glad I was able to say I made it to see the end of 2022. That as I type this on the first day of 2023, I just want to dwell here. No resolutions. No expectations. Just dwell.
Normally, I'm a goal-setting gal. In order to get to where you want to go, you have to have a map right? Well each year I've always tried to live out Habakkuk 2:2-3, "write the vision down and make it plain, that way he can run with it who reads it". I've done it for years. So much so, I haven't set any for 2023. Some people may look at that as an error on my part. Allowing for anything to happen and the opportunity to become stagnant. But I see it as me being free of the time table I placed myself on. That it's freedom from the fear of messing up or not doing my best. Free to make error. Free to learn from it.
I always knew right from wrong. Always try to choose the correct path and keep my head straight. But I learned last year, that even in making the right decisions, pain can still be there. Even in trying to do right, people will still think it's wrong. And even in choosing yourself, it will look selfish to others. So at the end of the day, you have to sit with yourself and see what feels right. You have to be confident in your decisions and walk them out. And if you falter? Falter. But get up in your own time and continue on. Because in the midst of all that chaos, there is better on the other side. Until you get to that other side, be patient and present at where you are now.
All in all, it is a new year but it's the same me. Flaws and all. Beauty and all. Love and all. Anger and all. Anxious and all. 2023, I'm just coming in as me.
Continue to exude love and light,
E.V.W. <3
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