Hey and hello Glories! I hope this blog finds you well, and if not, honey let's get well! I know that its been a while since I have posted a blog, life has been life-ing. From receiving a new job, getting more acquainted with young adulthood, celebrating Glory Talks being 1, I‘ve had my hands full. But I do believe that I am getting into the swing of things and developing a schedule that's conducive to me. With that, I do plan on being more active with my blog and you, my readers. In this month's blog, I wanted to pick up where I left off and continue to talk about my journey.
I know in my last post, I told y'all my life story. Starting from my childhood and coming through college, I gave you all an inside look at what my life was like and what I was facing. And if I'm honest, I was nervous about sharing it. I had never shared my life story and testimony before. The only people who knew about my struggles were select family members and friends, but I guess one day I told myself that I wasn't going to allow my past to bring me shame. That I had hidden behind the veil of "perfection" for long enough and that it was time for me to be real, not just with my readers, but with myself and God. And with that, the response I received was amazing. So many people reached out to me sharing their own stories and struggles and how God was able to deliver them out of it all, how they had healed from past hurt and trauma, and how they had chosen to start over despite what had been done. I was so grateful and honored that by me being obedient in sharing my story, that it fostered a space for others to share theirs. And at the end of the day, that is what I want Glory Talks to be about. Not just talk about life, but to do life together. Not just to talk about Christ, but live life through His principles. Not just to share advice, but to live by it. Because at the end of the day, isn't that what community is all about? Overall, Glory Talks isn't just a space for me, but a space for all. And with discovering all of what I want Glory Talks to be, I have continued to find myself.
One thing that I have learned is that finding yourself is not just a philosophical event that occurs in your twenties, but rather a task that continues to manifest itself through life. In my life now, I have had to rediscover myself because I spent years chasing after the Elizabeth I thought everyone wanted and enjoyed. I became interested in things that I thought would make people like me more, I projected parts of my personality to impress others while suppressing the other parts of myself, and it only made me even more depressed and sadder than ever. Then I had to realize and accept all of me. The witty, goofy, loving, hard-headed, determined, smart-mouthed, intelligent, parts of Elizabeth V. Winder. The parts that many people never got to see, the parts that people took advantage of, the parts that I didn't know were there, and the parts that I thought were weak, I went on to become acquainted and in love with it all. And choosing to love all of me, meant that there were several things that I had to learn and unlearn. Such as, knowing that I can trust the people that are by my side, opening up to people, that it was okay to expand my community, and that I deserved the very best
of what God and life had to offer.
If you have struggled with anxiety and depression, you know that there were times where you felt as though you weren't worthy. There have been moments, even recently, where I questioned whether or not I was deserving of what the Lord has given me in this season of life. But in those moments I had to remind myself of all the things that the Lord has brought me out of, all the obstacles that I have faced, all the mountains I have had to climb, and that I was worthy of all the good that was coming my way. With that, I should not overthink nor question the blessings and favor that were shown to me. That I can be at peace with the direction that my life is going in and trust the Lord that He is leading me correctly. That I can have true sisterhood and friendship because the people that God has placed in my life have my best interest at heart. That I can know that my family is going to be there for me no matter what I go through. And that I know I can allow myself to date again because there is someone that knows how to sternly, yet gently handle my heart. That I can be receptive to the good and not focus on the bad that may lurk in the shadows. And to know that the bad may lurk, but even in that, the good will always shine through.
All that to say this, continue to find you. Continue to do the work. Continue to push on. Continue to trust God. Continue to heal. Yes, not every day is going to be rainbows and unicorns. Yes, not all the people that you started on this journey with will be with you to the end. Yes, things may begin to look and feel different. But I assure you, it is all worthwhile. You are worthy of God's best. You have to believe and own it.
Continue to exude love and light,
E.V. Winder <3
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